Nothing is certain but death and the taxes.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, American statesman
* * * * *
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Press Report, 19 September 2008
* * * * *
The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. And he thought within himself, saying, “What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?” So he said, “I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.’ ” But God said to him, “Fool ! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided ?” So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.
Parable told by JESUS in Luke 12,v16-21
* * * * *
When I had money, money, O !
I knew no joy till I went poor;
For many a false man as a friend
Came knocking all day at my door.
Then felt I like a child that holds
A trumpet that he must not blow
Because a man is dead; I dared
Not speak to let this false world know.
Much have I thought of life, and seen
How poor men’s hearts are ever light;
And how their wives do hum like bees
About their work from morn till night.
So, when I hear these poor ones laugh,
And see the rich ones coldly frown –
Poor men, think I, need not go up
So much as rich men should come down.
When I had money, money, O !
My many friends proved all untrue;
But now I have no money, O !
My friends are real, though very few.
‘Money’, by W.H.DAVIES, Welsh poet
* * * * *
The rich must live more simply that the poor may simply live.
DR.CHARLES BIRCH, Ecologist
* * * * *
I wonder whether you will agree with another remark which occurs to me.
What may that be ?
There seem to be two causes of the deterioration of the arts.
What are they ?
Wealth, I said, and poverty.
How do they act ?
The process is as follows: When a potter becomes rich, will he, think you, any longer take the same pains with his art ?
Certainly not.
He will grow more and more indolent and careless ?
Very true.
And the result will be that he becomes a worse potter ?
Yes; he greatly deteriorates.
But, on the other hand, if he has no money, and cannot provide himself with tools or instruments, he will not work equally well himself, nor will he teach his sons or apprentices to work equally well.
Certainly not.
Then, under the influence either of poverty or of wealth, workmen and their work are equally liable to degenerate ?
That is evident.
Here, then, is a discovery of new evils, I said, against which the guardians will have to watch, or they will creep into the city unobserved.
What evils ?
Wealth, I said, and poverty; the one is the parent of luxury and indolence, and the other of meanness and viciousness, and both of discontent.
PLATO, from The Republic
* * * * *
The EU Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants will receive this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replased with ‘k’. Not only will this klear up confusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased by ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 per cent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent ‘e’s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and ‘w’ by ‘v’. During ze fifz year ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords containing ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
EU Press Release, 28 March 2003
* * * * *
Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.
THE APOSTLE PAUL, writing to Timothy, 1 Timothy 6,v6-8
* * * * *
Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life ?
Can’t I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive the brute off ?
Six days of the week it soils
With its sickening poison –
Just for paying a few bills !
That’s out of proportion.
Lots of folk live on their wits:
Lecturers, lispers,
Losels, lob-lolly men, louts –
They don’t end as paupers;
Lots of folk live up lanes
With fires in a bucket,
Eat windfalls and tinned sardines –
They seem to like it.
Their nippers have got bare feet,
Their unspeakable wives
Are skinny as whippets – and yet
No one actually starves.
Ah, were I courageous enough
To shout Stuff your pension !
But I know, all too well, that’s the stuff
That dreams are made on:
For something sufficiently toad-like
Squats in me, too;
Its hunkers are heavy as hard luck,
And cold as snow,
And will never allow me to blarney
My way to getting
The fame and the girl and the money
All at one sitting.
I don’t say, one bodies the other
One’s spiritual truth;
But I do say it’s hard to lose either,
When you have both.
‘Toads’, by PHILIP LARKIN, English poet
* * * * *
An article headed ACCOUNTANTS BORN BORING appeared in The SUN on August 10, 2000. The article reported the findings of research in the U.S. which purported to show that dullness is in accountants’ genes, that they therefore lack emotional intelligence, making it hard to socialise and make friends.
* * * * *